8 Discreet, Quiet TENGA That Don't Look Like Sex Toys
Since the company was founded in 2005, TENGA have prided themselves on producing sex toys that aren’t explicit, embarrassing to own, or easily identifiable. The TENGA Global Self-Pleasure Report in 2020 showed that 20% of American males are too embarrassed to own a masturbator, so a discreet sex toy can make all the difference. If you’re thinking of purchasing a sex toy but discretion is key, read on to see what TENGA sex toys are the best purchases.
Contents
Why Buy A Discreet Sex Toy?
While owning a sex toy shouldn’t ever be something to be embarrassed about, a lot of people may still not want to be open about their purchase. Maybe you live in shared accommodation or with family, want a masturbator to take on your travels without judgement or just don’t like overly sexual designs. All of these are reasons people may prefer to buy a discreet, quiet sex toy over other offerings.
What Do We Mean By A Discreet, Quiet Sex Toy?
First and foremost we’ll be looking at how discreet each of these products are, as this is the most important factor here. Next, we’ll cover how quiet they are, as this can make a difference even if the product is not visibly a sex toy. We’ll also cover what type of item this is, whether it is reusable or disposable. As many people may be looking for products that can be easily transported or travelled with we’ll rank the aspect of portability. Lastly, although not the key point of this article, we’ll also rank the cost of each of these items.
We’ll be ranking using the following scales using a score out of five:
Discretion: ★★★★★
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳
Type: Reusable/Disposable/Electronic/Vibrating etc.
Price Range: ＄＄＄＄＄
TENGA’S Most Discreet Toys
Here are our rankings of some of TENGA’s most discreet sex toys in the following order of importance: discretion, volume, portability, and finally price range.
TENGA 3D Series
The TENGA 3D Series are a great choice for those who like the super-stretchiness of the TENGA EGGs, but are looking for a more reusable item. We also would recommend them to those who have concerns about sizing issues with our other products.
Discretion: ★★★★★
We’d be willing to bet that unless someone examined the TENGA 3D closely or asked you about what it is, that it would remain incognito. Although it might be a little larger than the TENGA EGG, the varied designs of the TENGA 3D Series lends itself to sitting looking decorative on your shelf.
Volume: 🔊・・・・
Much like the TENGA EGG, the TENGA 3D is one of the quietest products on this list, making minimal noise during use.
Portability: 🧳🧳・・・
Losing just a single point from the TENGA EGG for the increase in size, the TENGA 3D Series are still some of the most easily portable products on this list. While it cannot be easily carried in its case, just the item in a bag is very easy to carry.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA 3D Series are reusable and only require simple cleaning and drying before reusing at another time. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
While not the cheapest product from TENGA, the TENGA 3D Series is still one of the most affordable and recommended for those new to the brand.
TENGA GEO Series
If you’re a big fan of the TENGA EGGs but have always wanted something with a bit more reusability then the TENGA GEO Series is perfect. The TENGA GEO offers a different experience to the EGGs, but with the same stretchability and feel.
Discretion: ★★★★★
Much like with the TENGA 3D and crysta, the TENGA GEO are virtually undetectable by people unfamiliar with TENGA products. Plus their design is just as aesthetically pleasing as any modern shelf ornament.
Volume: 🔊・・・・
An exceptionally quiet product, the TENGA GEO shouldn’t make any additional noise during use.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳・・
The TENGA GEO loses a couple of points here for being larger and bulkier than both the TENGA EGGs and the TENGA 3D but can still be packed in a suitcase easily without detection.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA GEO is a reusable product, requiring only the cleaning and drying indicated in its manual for reuse. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
One of TENGA’s mid-range priced items, but well worth the cost if you’re looking to buy a reusable product similar to the popular TENGA EGGs.
TENGA crysta Series
The TENGA crysta Series is the perfect mixture of form and functionality in its design. Using some of the most advanced technology from TENGA, the TENGA crysta melds soft elastomer with firmer shapes embedded within.
Discretion: ★★★★★
Along with the TENGA GEO, the TENGA EGGs, and the TENGA 3D, the TENGA crysta makes up some of the most discrete products on our list. Some reviewers have even described this product as a modern paperweight. It should easily avoid detection.
Volume: 🔊🔊・・・
As the TENGA crysta comes with firmer shapes embedded in the elastomer, it may make a little more noise than some of the previously mentioned products. Not by much though.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳・・
Similar to the TENGA GEO, the TENGA crysta loses a couple of points here for being a little larger and needing to be cleaned for reuse. Otherwise, it is still by far one of the most portable options.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA crysta is a reusable product, only requiring the instructed cleaning and drying for reuse. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The TENGA crysta is another of TENGA’s mid-range products, but well worth the extra cost for a relatively discreet, quiet, reusable item.
TENGA SPINNER Series
The TENGA SPINNER Series proved to be such a hit that last year three more SPINNERs were released. Using a unique coil embedded in the elastomer, the SPINNER offers a twisting sensation with each stroke.
Discretion: ★★★★★
Much like with the TENGA EGGs, although this might be one of the most popular of the TENGA products, the design is still discreet enough that most people won’t notice it. Even if someone did, when fully packaged it could easily be mistaken for a scientific decoration!
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊・・
As the SPINNERs offer a sensational twisting experience, there may be a little more noise produced than with other products on the list. They still remain a relatively quiet item though.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳・
While not the most portable of the TENGA products, the SPINNERs packaging isn’t too large and can easily be stowed away for travel.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA SPINNER Series are reusable products, only requiring the instructed cleaning and drying for reuse. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The TENGA SPINNER Series are within the lower end of the mid-range of TENGA products, but worth the cost for a reusable masturbator with an unbelievable spiraling sensation.
TENGA EGG Series
While the Standard CUP Series featured later down the list are the flagship products produced by TENGA, the TENGA EGG Series are perhaps the most globally recognised. Plus this product is sold everywhere TENGA is available, making it easy to find.
Discretion: ★★★★・
This may be one of the most recognisable items on this list, but the design, shape and size more than make up for this. Easily stowed away and/or hidden from sight after purchase, the EGG can be used and disposed of with ease.
Volume: 🔊・・・・
One of the quietest options on this list, the EGG shouldn’t make any additional unwanted noises while being used.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳
In terms of portability, if you buy a single EGG then this product is probably the most portable on this list. Not only is it the smallest product on this list, but it is also designed with a shell for protection!
Type: Disposable.
The EGG is a single-use, disposable product. Simply use as directed, then dispose of in the same casing. Simple!
Price Range: ＄・・・・
Outside of the Standard CUP Series, the TENGA EGGs when bought as a single item are the cheapest that TENGA has to offer. Even the EGG Variety Packs are extremely affordable.
TENGA FLIP ORB Series
The TENGA FLIP ORB Series is the most affordable of the TENGA FLIP range. Featuring interior orbs within the elastomer, the FLIP ORB Series comes in both regular and strong editions.
Discretion: ★★★・・
The FLIP ORBs are relatively discreet, with a design that isn’t immediately noticeable as a sex toy. As a reusable product, however, you will need to clean and leave the FLIP ORB out to dry somewhere, which is why it loses some points for discretion.
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊・・
While not the loudest product on this list by far, when in use the FLIP ORB can make a certain level of noise when used with lubrication. It is still relatively quiet though and shouldn’t be too noticeable.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳・・
The FLIP ORB is portable and doesn’t require any charging like the FLIP 0 EV, however, the product is still larger than some of the others on this list and still needs drying after use.
Type: Reusable.
The FLIP ORB Series are reusable and come with an in-built stand for drying purposes.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The FLIP ORB Series is the most inexpensive of the FLIP range and so is a great introduction product if you don’t want to spend too much.
TENGA STANDARD CUP Series
The Standard CUP Series are TENGA’s flagship products that launched the brand back in 2005. They have remained so popular that they remained largely unchanged until their renewal for TENGA’s 15th Anniversary in 2020.
Discretion: ★★★・・
The Standard CUP Series loses some points on discretion simply for being one of the most recognizable of the TENGA products. While discreet, they are still designed with the signature TENGA red and silver stripes, the TENGA logo is also more prominently featured.
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊🔊・
This varies depending on the CUP. The Original Vacuum CUP for example might be relatively quiet by itself, but with the featured air hole in use, the audible volume levels may increase noticeably. While not the loudest TENGA product, it may still not be as quiet as desired when all features are used.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳・
While size-wise the Standard CUP Series may lose a point, because this is a disposable product it makes for the perfect pick up and throw away on-the-go item.
Type: Disposable.
This product is designed for single use only, with easy use and clean up being one of the benefits of buying this item, sealed, pre-lubricated and ready to go.
Price Range: ＄・・・・
The Standard CUP Series are some of the cheapest TENGA products available. They are also disposable, however, so please keep that in mind.
TENGA FLIP ZERO EV Series
Perhaps the only list where the FLIP ZERO EV won’t come out on top as the star product, this is the most luxurious product available from TENGA. This is our popular FLIP ZERO with an additional two vibrating cores embedded, for all-encompassing stimulation.
Discretion: ★★★・・
While not immediately noticeable as a masturbator, the FLIP ZERO EV loses points for being both a larger product that requires cleaning and for being rechargeable.
This means there are times it will need to be plugged in. Even then, if you have a lot of different electronics the FLIP ZERO EV can blend in fairly easily.
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊
The biggest selling point of the FLIP ZERO EV is its weakest point here. In terms of quietness, due to being an electronic, vibrating product, there will be a lot of sound. While the sensation is worth it, it might not be right for you if you don’t want extra noise.
Portability: 🧳🧳・・・
Once again, the fact that the FLIP ZERO EV is one of the larger products on the list and is an electronic, rechargeable item means points are lost here. While there is a certain amount of battery life, you may need to take the charging cables with you for extended use.
Type: Reusable/Electronic/Vibrating.
The FLIP ZERO EV is reusable, but also the only rechargeable, electronic vibrating product on this list.
Price Range: ＄＄＄＄＄
Definitely only for those looking for the most luxurious experience, the FLIP ZERO EV loses most of its points as it is meant to be an item bought to be enjoyed at your leisure.
The price, with it being the most expensive TENGA sex toy, reflects this! The extra stimulation and feeling you get are well worth the extra cost. Some products are more for enjoyment than discretion.
SUMMARY
If buying a discreet, quiet masturbator means that you feel less pressured or stressed when owning and using one when you feel like it is what matters to you, the clear winner of this list is the TENGA EGG! Being the smallest, quietest and most discreet product despite its fame. Not to mention it is designed with portability, ease of use and disposal in mind! All products mentioned have their own pros and cons though, so whichever you think works for you is probably best!
There shouldn’t be any shame in owning a sex toy and using them to take your self-pleasure to a new level. That being said, we understand that a lot of people still don’t want to be open about owning these kinds of products or at least travelling with them.
Above all, taking the time to take care of your wellbeing through masturbation is what’s the most important factor.
